An Open Letter Wishing A Happy Birthday To A Sunny Day Friend!
So much for “stay classy” never air the laundry on social media, even I don’t have that type restraint when pushed and poked over and over. Today I sent Classy on a nice spring vacation and drug JoCo’s Bruised, Battered, & Broken out the cellar for another round.
Meet Bruised, Battered, Broken, Lonely, Angry and Bored in JOCO
Talk’s been cheap lately at anyone’s expense. You know that kind in small town JoCo where boredom breeds. That place where Lonely, Angry, and Bored meet up at the local honky tonk with Bruised, Battered and Broken. Before long it’s a six pack in and the shit’s getting good now. Don’t forget the popcorn, remember I’m the one that “writes the 2-3 page responses” right T. LMAO and this is a short story. Have a laugh at my expense.
WHY EXPOSE ANYMORE SKID MARK UNDIES PUBLICLY? Why else, they need airing!
Well it’s like this, would you never want to hear from the villain in your favorite movie? Right, that is what you chose for my character, correct? The best and most honest response I have after the last few months of meeting up with Bruised, Battered, Broken, Lonely, Angry, and Bored is: RETALIATION, FUCKING RETALIATION! and SOMEWHERE ELSE TO PROJECT THE HURT!
Thanks to my sunny day friend, an “I FUCKED MYSELF” situation, and a few of those life events where the SUN WAS NOT SHINING ON MY ASS, I’ve lost a part of me along with a lot more. Miranda says it best, “Mr. Tin Man, you give me your armor and you can have my heart”. I’m stripped down to the core, raw with blistering pain, more fragile than in the past but I dare not give up, never have! Coming back from this is chump change to what I have risen against! There is nothing more you, Lonely, Bored, Angry, Bruised, Battered and Broken or anyone else in this deception filled town can do or say that could make me shed another tear of doubt about who I am, nor will you succeed in your shallow attempts to demean, because finally IDGAFAY!
Thanks Massholicy for your recent stab at degradation. Your information was based on assumptions leaked by someone of little stability in their own life and besides don’t you have your own gremlins to worry about? You think I’m an idiot if you want, I don’t sit back, listen, and screenshot without reason. I got a heart of gold and a palace of trump cards, don’t fuck with me!
For my sunny day friend, you lounge around manipulating facts, using your FAKE facebook pages to lure in the less than trustworthy exes, future lovers, lovers of the exes, and oh my wouldn’t a few be shocked as to who else you are! Clever my dear one, clever, but you are not the only one with a fake page, may want to check your own friend list.
Your engineering to get others to do for you is hands down fascinating to say the least, but it must be exhausting groveling for the attention of a sister once again for all the wrong reasons. Relax girl get a grip it’s apparent you’re looking to grab another handout. If you Aries are as sharp as you believe, she will open her eyes to your repeated performance at hand. If she keeps you around it will be for her own personal gain, oh no wait a minute that is what you told me she does.
The next time you want to jump in with your Scooby like self and be claimed as part of the tribe or sisterhood, help keep the tribe together. Do not play sisters against each other or play the best sister performance for the benefit of your own needs.
I get it, we do what we know, right? We all have our squalors to deal and grow from throughout life. Hell yes I am angry but I get it, we all meet up with plenty of antagonist in our life. Isn’t it the antagonists that aid us to our ultimate inner and outer goals by having us rip apart every fiber of our fucked up shady souls?
Move forward the first step is denial. Universe knows I’ve faced that recently but hey it gets better. Oh you say you are not in denial? Didn’t you move in with someone that you had talked crap about every time you thought she may get too close to “your sisters”. “keep your friends close but your enemies closer” right, gotta love those Aries! Since you made clear what you thought of her, if not for your own personal gain why else would you take from her kindness? You’re forgiven, we are all capable of misjudging others including myself!
Shits been building, you know me, I’d like to remind you what type of friend I USED to be:
I offered you a job when no one else would due to your self-induced destruction. Then you couldn’t show up to work due to your struggle. I know life can hurt and I never spoke about again.
I took your teenage daughter in, fixed her a bedroom, fed her, got her to school, spent time with her, never asking for a dime to help and never for a reason other than, I was your friend. I loved you and your children and would do it again, that is who I am! I guess the dark parts of my soul yearns to be needed since I am not without weaknesses.
I gave you a place to live without deposits, I left the lights and cable in my name because you didn’t have money for deposits. No other reason than I was your friend. I had not always been able to help others! We never know when that day may come again, do we?
You needed wireless but unable to get your own, I let you use my wi-fi until you ran it up over $200 in one month never offering a dime to help, I paid for no other reason than I was your friend while you selfishly assumed I had the money.
I even dropped the response to another renter that was willing to pay what I was asking, that’s what friends do. $150 less a month for you, can you add that up over a two year period?
You wanted to use rugs that were not mine and promised great care yet extreme damage to one, I was charged for and the cleaning of all. Once again I had to pay that too. Wow are you as flabbergasted at what friends oops fools do as I am?
I never hesitated about letting you and the girls stay at the beach. How many weeks did you pay nothing for a nice week vacation and even bring uninvited guest. What else would a friend do?
In no way do I claim perfection on the friend I have been but I’m good with me and what I have given of myself. If I leave this world today, FOR YOU, I did over and beyond and never with an expectation. Naturally, I am hurt and shocked by the oblivion of your actions.
AND You think I deserve what I got for being your friend?
You knew a year in advance when my lease would end at the beach and when I would need the house back due to a career change. Do not worry, I blame me for the weak soul I was, trying to make sure you were comfortable and screwed myself irreparable. You are clueless or better yet, too self-centered and “don’t give a fuck”.
Not only have you sat back and greedily watched, you have taken every advantage of the situation you could using YOUR “narcissistic traits” and to think you said that about your now sister. You are better than you have portrayed and you have the nerve to say that about others? It’s hard to look back and realize the friend oops fool I have been but I will heal and let it go. If you were the friend or sister you parade yourself to be, you would have stepped up to the plate to help get things right, make the bond stronger but instead you added fuel to the fire more than once.
You told that you did not pay rent the last three months because you had no heat due to the flood. Leave that poor cow alone, you milked it enough. You left out the part where you were offered a hotel stay until the heat was repaired. Ignorance let you think that you should get the free hotel room and no rent. I am going to use your line here, I was that sponge and you gotta take that one last squeeze, wring and shake it to make sure you got every last drop you could and poof you were gone my sunny day friend!
Your continued yellow belly ways kept you from answering numerous texts and calls to handle the situation as a sister or friend would. I was without armor when the tough awakening slapped me dead into desolation when I saw you were only doing what any taker would do. It was here I concluded you were not the friend I thought, just a lesson in my life.
Don’t fuck with me anymore, quit telling part of the facts that benefit you!
Ask anyone that had a home flood if their mortgage payment stopped and not like you were expected to stay in the home, YOU WERE BEING GIVEN ANOTHER PLACE IN EXCHANGE TEMPORARILY, STILL A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD. Give that dunce hat a fucking break it’s beginning to sweat!
Yes, I fucked up and trusted you, I shared my dirt, you were my friend. I allowed you to put me in the situation by not treating the rental like a business. Lesson Learned!!! So before uttering your assumption of my financial status again, take ownership of your part in it and worry about yourself so you can get your own place and stop taking from other people and places!
How many times did I discount the rent? How many times did I take away what I could have spent at Christmas to help you? Yes Ms. Saint, you paid the rent early 5-6 months, bowing, thank you!
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR THE OTHER SIGNS OF APPRECIATION.
1. OVERWHELMED WILL NOT DO JUSTICE TO WHAT I FELT WHEN I WALKED BACK INTO MY HOME, IT CHANGED MY LIFE AND FAITH IN FRIENDS GOING FORWARD FOREVER..
2. Dogs locked in the kitchen, no heat, no food, and no water and NO YOU HAD NOT BEEN BY. Lights had been cut off for two weeks but you let me assume you were still there.
3. Kitchen floor saturated with dog urine where they never went out. Floor will have to be ripped out.
4. You left over $700 in unpaid utility bills along with unpaid rent, yet flaunt your trips knowing you owe this. Do you have a conscious or any moral obligations?
5. Furniture was taken that was not yours. Are you moronic? I lived there six years, plenty of photos in my house prior to you moving in that shows what I owned. Keep it, you know how I am about bad energies stuck in used items. Sadly a couple of items were gifted down from family. TY
6. OMG the candy stuck in and under the sofas. Sofas that were like new prior to you moving in. Trash and food under the beds in take-out trays you left for me to clean up. Should I share the photos? Don’t you fucking dare tell you were not given ample time.
7. Almost new stainless appliances that were not yours that you allowed children to put stickers on with no respect of the damage. NEVER PUT STICKERS ON STAINLESS
8. Lamps torn apart, mattress ruined, furniture beat to hell and I rented to you for less thinking my belongings would be in better hands.
9. Weeds that grew into trees that were impossible for me to move back in and get everything back in order. My fuck it weed keeps growing too!
10. Let’s not forget like the dogs, you also got kittenS and enjoyed them for awhile until it came time to train and get vetted then, of course, you did not have the money or time for that. Guess you were using that money for another trip or dinner. I got left with that expense and the stress of finding the cat a GOOD home. God knows the nights I had to hear the cat cry looking the girls.
There are ten more where those came from.
After all this, I walked in where you were drunk sick with sadness one evening. While your friends and everyone else enjoyed their evening, I never gave it a second thought until now, without reservation, I held your hair back and sit on a damn COLD bar bathroom floor holding you, wiping your face and let you know what a true sister or friend would do, I loved you regardless!
Ask Bruised, Bored, Broken, Lonely and any others what they would do. If you treat “your sister” how you treated me the last year especially the last few months, have fun! Don’t dare think you’ll get by owing her what you owe me…You know the drill!!!! Better yet, I bet you don’t pull that on your current landlord, why because she would never allow it. My stupidity!
Thank you for taking advantage of someone that gave you the shirt off her back more than once. I was warned by many including a lifetime friend that I now know you took part in destroying. Yes I am mad at me too. I have never taken the easy route and I have always learned the hard way. I now understand what you meant about me being TOO forgiving and TOO nice. That person is dead and gone, be proud you aided in the murder. Thank you for the shove and assistance in my airing our laundry.
As for your sister, the one you were done with a year ago, not me the other one that you are going over and beyond to put on display the last few weeks. You know the one that you said I was her sister and it was my place to say something a year ago, but when I did, POOF and you were gone and I was left in the fire alone in order for me not to throw you under the bus! Before long you were buddying up to her, I turned the blind eye swearing I had fallen into the latest Lifetime Movie. You thought you could get the car and I hear now the house. If you move into her house after seeing what mine looked like, at least I wont be a lonely fool.
Anyone that knows me, knows I have the strength to endure whatever gets thrown my way and I would never hurt myself over what others THINK I have or have not done or what I had or no longer have. However more than once in the last week something was said or done that felt like a school of jellyfish had landed inside my heart and by Saturday there was a part of me in so much fucking pain that I would have loved to have lived and died all in the same moment. When you “sisters” opened the garage to your Birthday party, I’d been hanging with a Thank You Note. I would NEVER but thanks for another screenplay ending, “a thank you note attached to the stoned cold blue LOL-Younique stained face”. There are no accidents, things happen for a reason.
I love my sister REGARDLESS OF OUR DIFFERENCE IN OPINION ON A CERTAIN SITUATION and she is more than aware of who I am and whether we are on or off, she knows my faults and my strengths as I do hers. She knows what she asked was impossible for me giving what I believe! I am sorry if someone made either of you feel guilt enough to invite “your sister” to your birthday that you have known about for weeks an hour before. Be real, I was hurt not desperate! I understood it would be difficult for others to see me there as it would remove the costumes we sometimes wear when performing for others. “I know you won’t come but…” – Would I have wanted to? Regardless of the past year, YES I would have put on my big girl panties and appeared for my sister(s).
DO NOT come back at me, I have silently dealt with the blows and punches for some time. There is a novel where this came from, you know, a lot more pages of the last couple of years with additional characters and handicaps. I AM DONE and I don’t guess I’m such the pussy after all!
“A writer at heart, beware anything you do or say may end up in screenplay”
My apologies to family, friends and followers that did not expect this type of post using this language. Sometimes there are only certain words that will describe how you feel. Please accept my apology! I will be back to my bright peaceful making self soon!