How and Why I said GoodBye Corporate America
I found myself waking up daily feeling like an air plant torn in many directions. My day started with what I felt was an industry much needed for investors but becoming murkier by the hours at least for me. The financial industry always preaching to use transparency with clients while the firms were rarely using transparency with their clients, me, the advisor. My difference in opinions from what
firms and advisors were saying was icing on the cake to the other events that had taken place in my life. In a dark moment of these crazed thoughts playing whack-a-mole in my head, I ran across an important article that would eventually help with this goodbye, Top 5 Regrets of the Dying. Bottom line was none of this seemed to really matter, I was shifting to a new journey and new experiences.
For years I had chosen to rush around in suits from one meeting to the next. Always squeezing in time to network, plan client events, and meeting with vendor after vendor to learn how their product will work in a client’s portfolio. I’d wake at 3 a.m. with a laptop slipping from my hands where I had fallen asleep reading everything from market updates, revision in products, firm fee increases to new SEC rules and regulations.. Sounds fun, right? Really, what more could I ask for, I had an appealing title that was financially rewarding. The exception, I had piled so much on top of me, how the hell could I ever slow down without losing my ass. My choices were A-continue living like a zombie, rushing around in nice suits, eating at five star restaurants, wearing my favorite Yurman and Hardy jewelry while helping clients plan their retirement years OR B-let it ALL go to pursue a smothered out dream of writing while I was still young and strong enough to enjoy the journey of the unknown with the financially challenged.
“JUST DO IT,” says Nike
Everywhere I turned, I saw the signs and the “JUST DO IT‘s” kept slapping me in the face. I hesitantly grabbed the bull and bear, I had often played with by the hair and the horns, and I just did it. I said a tear-jerking happy goodbye to a career I think I once loved and to Corporate America that I seldom agreed with.
The decision to leave a career as a financial advisor did not happen without anguish, migraines, and escapism from everything that once seemed normal. It has not been painless and I can assure you some other character grabbed the bed of roses I was hoping for and left me a steep hill of thorns. I continue to clobber FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) and anxiety weekly now instead of hourly. I wake up each day to embrace every step of the way, thorns and all. Okay let me get real, there is not a day that goes by that for a few minutes I don’t beat myself up wondering how the hell is this going to work. I take a deep breath, some days many and then I write something even if it’s only a journal entry.
My best year ever helped me decide this career was not a FOREVER ME
It wasn’t too long ago, I had my best year ever, looking at it in terms of production or income like most corporate careers do. I am not one of those old-timers who think money is evil. So why was I second guessing my career after a successful year? Truth be known it was many things. I was smack dab in the middle of a long-term relationship gone bad. Due to my career and firm being entangled with this relationship, I had to step outside the box further to see why I had attracted certain life-altering situations. What I saw was a woman less fulfilled inwardly than ever before with her personal life. Her notebook was gathering dust. Her screenplay software was rarely opened. Her determination in natural healing had taken a backseat to doctor visits with prescriptions for ADHD, migraines, and anxiety. Her vision boards once filled with people, places, screenplays, writing notes, personal goals, spiritual goals, and natural healing had been filled with corporate chaos. The vision boards showed boredom covered with numbers, graphs, prospectus notes, the next production level, next marketing event, an upcoming client event, the next product to conquer, and the next acronym she desired behind her name.
How could I be me?
The restraints from corporate rules of what I could and could not say on social media, what I could or could not write, or what I must say and not say to the public had me torn to which side of the fence I needed to stand. Knowing what I had to do, I couldn’t get past, “what will people think” and “I will look like a failure”. I would continue on until the next shove from the Universe. I finally hit the downward spiral where I tripped over more deception, broken relationships, misguided information, increased anxiety, migraines, and difficulties of all kinds. I couldn’t blame anyone but me, I had attracted this to my life to push me back to a passion that I would get up and do for free. My gypsy soul was back and the life I had been living was coming to an end. I had to face it, writers starve in the beginning but the good ones never gave up. My old me had awakened and my new life was set in motion without my approval of the hurdles I would undergo.
I will always remain thankful for the opportunity, the education, experiences, genuine people I met along the way, and most of all, my clients. Leaving felt like losing many friends and family all at once. Every time I’d pick up the phone to make a call, I would fall apart or end up in bed sick. Not a day goes by that I don’t still think of the great people I met.
The time has come that I do feel the warmth of the sunrises, the bursting energy of sunsets, and the freedom of the moonlight. All the obstacles as well as the characters were part of my journey playing a difficult and magnificent part in my life to help me get where I needed to be. I’ve dusted off the notebook. I am writing and working on mastering the screenplay world. To create some source of income, I am helping others build websites and blogs that will help them pursue their passion. I am putting to use the Life Coaching certification to help myself and others as well. I am also slowly learning the art of Reiki Energy Healing. To break free from the screen, I took up knitting and sewing which keeps meditation in my life.
I’ve often said, “No risk is no life”. I’m no longer trading time, memories, and health for money. To all of those I love and care for, I hope in time you will understand my need to make the transition in order to live a more authentic life.